I notice a forming bulge in his swim shorts that wasnt there when he walked over from the RV that was down the beach. Sorry, I just cant help myself around you. You know that. Hes sheepish grin did nothing to hide the fact from what he was thinking. We are both going to be seniors in the upcoming school year, and this was our last weekend before we were forced to go back. Cade and I have been dating about a year, and we were both virgins. This hasnt changed that fact that weve gotten hot and heavy under the bleachers at a football game, or the one time weve snuck into the band hall and I gave him a blow job. I was just reluctant to give away my virginity. Come back to the RV with me, Shelby. I want to give you something that you deserve. He said this with a sly grin on his face. Which gave me a hint that he wanted me to take care of the fast growing bulge in his swim shorts. I laughed, No Cade. We just got here, and I want to enjoy the sun for just a little bit longer. Fine, Ill. But I couldn't take the thought of keeping her caged in unhappiness when she deserved to be someone's one and only. To be someone's dearest love and not just my "second choice." After I succumbed to my foolish weaknesses, our relationship became obsolete. There was nothing to try and save, no matter how much we both wanted to make it all work out. I couldn't make her happy and setting her free was the best thing I could do for her. Even if it did hurt the both of us. It's better this way though. I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even.
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