I said, "Mike, you know, we talk to each other about everything. Can I be really honest with you for a minute?" Of course," he responded in a very nonchalant way."I am so FUCKING sick and so FUCKING tired of being a virgin. I know you're a virgin, Mike. Aren't you tired of it?" That's when he nearly jumped out of his seat.The conversation to that point had been monotonously banal. From kids in school, to schoolwork, to teachers, then back to the kids. He usually found a way to keep it interesting, but that day I just couldn't get sex off my mind."How can you be tired of being a virgin when you don't know what sex feels like?" he said. Mike was sitting on my bed, and I got up from a small sofa that I used to keep in the corner, walked over and sat in his lap. "You told me that you sometimes get tired of being so tall. I'm sure you have no idea what it's like being short."It was the first time I ever sat in his lap, and I liked it. I reached in to kiss him, then I hesitated when I. He proved who he was by making an amazing putt all the way across the bank lobby into a coffee cup."Then, just last week, Andre Agassi had to prove who he was, so he used his tennis racket and lobbed a ball all the way across the bank lobby into that same coffee cup."In both cases, we took that as identification and cashed their checks," she explained."So, Mr. President, is there something you can do that would prove that you are, indeed, BarrackHussein Obama, president of the United States?" she asked.Obama stands in front of her for a moment, frowning in thought."You know, he says, I can't think of a thing.My mind is a total blank. I have absolutely no idea what to do in this situation," he says."Seriously. No clue at all."The cashier smiles."Will that be large or small bills, Mr.President?" she asks.This little on is compliments of PaulWhen the dwarf fortune teller escaped from the jail the other day the police alert said they were looking for a small medium at large.This one is.
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