Since the first time I had sex with a black woman I never had actual sex with a white woman but after a bad experience with a black woman I'd started talking to this white girl I used to know. I wasn't really attracted to her like I was to black women but I wanted to try to be with her. However I think she could tell there was no real sexual attraction from me and was trying to put me off and it was starting to make me mad. Plus she lived with her parents and I lived with a family member too and it was hard to be alone anyway.Well I was at a gas station one day and saw this black woman. She was light skinned (I normally liked darker women) but she still had black facial features. She wore glasses, she had a really fat ass and had her hair in some kind of long braids but pulled up. I wasn't in a hurry and decided to try to get her number. She seemed hesitant for whatever reason but ended up giving it to me. I called her....I forget what for, that night but just told her I would call. Endless, insufferable want drives me on, drives me from bed to bed, man to man. I am damned to be indiscriminate, forced to take you as you are, young, old, wandering the night cast over your living world in search of a pleasure that will never come. Tonight, my wanderings will bring me to your bed, to find you in your fitful sleep and fill your dreams with visions of a Heaven that I will never know. You are lying naked and exposed, sky blue bed linens mussed and tangled in your legs, when I manifest myself in your room. I cast an appraising glance at the crucifix hanging on the wall by the door, assessing its power. I know instantly that the cheap oak has never felt the touch of holy water, that the cracked and varnished plastic form of Jesus in His suffering has never had those secret, powerful words muttered over it, that it is a mere decoration and not a talisman with any power against me. I laugh and my laughter tumbles and turns, transforming into my hands, sending the crucifix.
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