Over time though I stopped fooling myself.If I'm honest with myself, I got into it simply for the attention and to be desired. I'm not being overly critical of myself, just honest, when I say I'm a very plain looking person. Nothing wrong with it, simply the way some of us are. The spots I went to were visited by either gay men or straight/bi men. The gay men of course had no interest in me. The bi men though, many of them were my age and older. Many were married. Many had a non existent sex life at home. Almost all kept what they did quiet and were just as worried about people who knew them finding out. So although it was scary it also felt safe in a weird way.Although with most there was very little, if any, talking, some you got to know, at least a little. Even the ones you didn't talk with you recognized their faces and they recognized yours. You might see them at the mall or a restaurant or a community event and there would be this moment of recognition and nervousness and fear. Hamara aur meri Cousin Bua (5.3 ft, duski color, Bhare hue DOOD ke bade kale nipple, JHant k baal kafi lambe, Chutad thik thak, Kul mila k koi bhi Muth mar sakta hai) ka ghar ek hi colony me tha, Bua ki umar kareeb 22 saal rahi hogi , Bua ka ek chota bhai aur mami – papa sath me rehte the, mera Bua k ghar bahut aana jana tha. Main usualy school se aa kar Bua k ghar hi chala jata tha aur khana bhi wahin khata tha, Bua k ghar me chulha tha khana banana k liye (gas nahi), chulhe me aag lagane k liye bahut mehnat karni padti hai aur Bua ka roj ka yahi kaam tha, bahut pareshan rehti thi aag jalane k liye, bua daily sukhi lakdi le k aati baith k lakdi k chote chote tukde karti aur fir chulhe me rakh kar usme aag lagane ki koshish karti in sab me bua apni , aur main daily bua ki help karne pahuch jata tha, puchiye kyon ???Kyon ki aag jalate samay bua apni chunni fenk deti thi aur chulhe ki aag jalane ke liye neeche jhuk k kaafi der tak chulhe me hawa karni padti hai, aur mujhe wahan jo.
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