."Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT. "Oso heard riders coming fast and stepped out onto the porch with his big mug of morning coffee. Visitors weren't common, especially this early in the morning. Seven men pulled up in front of the ranch house; they rode in close to the front porch. One of them is hurt, Oso thought as he saw a man slumped over in the saddle."Morning," Oso said. "Something I can do for you? You got a man hurt there?"All the men looked at the one in the middle; it was obvious that he was the leader. The man asked, "Where's Tom Anderson?" He and his missus moved to California about seven months ago. This is our place now. Can I help you gents?" We need some fresh horses," the man answered."Sorry, can't help ya. Don't have any animals for sale," Oso replied. "I can let you have some feed and water for your horses though."Simpson rode his horse closer to the porch and Oso; he stopped at a little over ten feet away. "You don't understand," he said. "Wasn't talkin about buying, we're takin what we need.".
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