Jean told me to be careful about our relationship with her and her husband, she did not want Maggie to know or suspect, I said will be careful durring her stay, Jean said, perhaps I can interest Maggie in replacing me, I know she has not been with a man since her husband died, that would be nice treat for her, you can be her special holiday treat, I said don't know, if it would be ok with her, She said I know she likes younger men year ago she when she was 40 had an affair with a 27 years old man.) Jean said live it to me, I will think of something.One night Jean and Peter had to go out with some friends Maggie said she would prefer to stay in and read her book, or watch tv, Jean said if there is nothing on the teli there are some video tapes on the 2nd drower, Maggie asked me to sit with her she made us a sandwich, and open a bottle of wine there was nothing on the tv so Maggie got up and went through the tapes she said their is nothing interesting, but we try our lack and put one. However, I also loved my fun with Scott.That beating didn’t knock the gay from me as I was unsure. My bruises would heal and fade away. But mentally it was going to take time for me to heal.I was terrified of my father, my wet dreams were replaced with nightmares. My boogeyman was my father. I would dream of him beating me with his belt. Even when I got wet dreams they turned into nightmares. As the boogeyman would come into them. My life seemed to turn into a living hell.Chores and sleep were all I was allowed to do. No friends over nor was I allowed to go anywhere with them. When my friends called or came over, my mother politely informed them sorry he is grounded. Oh and my nightly visit from my boogeyman in my nightmares.When around my father I was a yes sir, no sir person. I tried my best to avoid him at all costs. My mother heard my screams one night and came into my room she asked me what was wrong.“Dad is my boogeyman,” I said to her.Mom had this look of fear and anguish in.
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