It had scared me so much I couldn’t think straight. I don’t know where it came from. Danielle was totally right. Things weren’t that bad. I’d spent all evening being happy.Why on earth would I want to kill myself?Then I got to the point where her words had filled up my brain. There wasn’t any space left. But Danielle wanted to keep talking at me. If she did that, all the new words would spill straight back out of my head and drip uselessly down onto the floor.I carefully reached out and grasped Danielle’s arms, just below her shoulders. Then I pulled her towards me. I couldn’t move very well ‘cause I was on Dan’s lap and he was holding me very tightly. I leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. That stopped her talking. Then I slid my face past hers and wrapped my arms around her.One of us was shaking, I wasn’t sure who. Or maybe we were both shaking. Or maybe we were still and the rest of the world was shaking. I held on tightly until the shaking stopped. It didn’t take. He didn't get his drivers license until way after I did, mostly because we did a lot of stuff together so I drove him everywhere. Like any teenagers we had no jobs, rarely any money, but wanted to go everywhere. We were on our way to a party, and were still a while from getting there, but the tank was empty. I pulled into a gas station, realizing we were 15 minute drive from home or the party, with no money on either of us, and no gas. Our parents were out of town, we were home alone, so they couldn't bring us money, so after 5 minutes I came up with a plan. I took off my panties, hiked my skirt up showing half my ass, took off my bra, and unbuttoned my shirt to where only one button was holding it closed. I told my brother to start filling it up when I gave a thumbs up, and started twards the cute geeky guy at the register. I walked in and told him our situation, he felt sorry but stressed he couldnt give away gas. I asked if he had any money on him while twisting the button on my.
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