"You blind, boy?" asks Mick, pointing again at his stripe. "We're LanceCorporals now!"So they have their drink, and pretty soon one of the Army lassies comes up to Mick."You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhoea."Mick pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Paddy, go look in the dictionary and see what Gonorrhoea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."So Paddy goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Mick the big Thumbs Up.Three weeks later Mick is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhoea. Mick says to Paddy, "Why the hell did you give me the thumbs up?" Well Mick, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhoea affects only the privates & we're Lance Corporals now!"These are compliments of JimDISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.FLORIDA OR MOONTwo blondes living in Oklahoma. Nothing happened until the lights at the far end of the park were in my sight. I relaxed a little, strolling down the middle of the path, considering my food options, when a flash of movement from the left caught my eye. Before I was able to attempt a guess as to what was going on, a body, dressed totally in black, with a matching mask covering everything except for eyes and mouth, grabbed hold of the backpack. Unbalanced, I stumbled in the direction I was pulled, off the path, and out of sight from any other pedestrians, in the unlikely event that any passed. As we disappeared from sight, my assailant suddenly brandished a sizeable knife, and slashed the backpack straps, letting my books and papers fall to the leaf-strewn ground, as they burst through the bag. All of this happened much too fast for me to say anything, and as I gathered the will to scream, a gloved hand clamped my mouth shut. The other hand, still holding the knife, wrapped around my chest, pressing my breasts hard.
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