Another girl asked her about living outside the house. She was accurate with the facts, if not the impression she tried to make.“A couple of girls are doing that this year.” Not mentioning that they were all seniors, that seniors were the only ones granted that option. “I can’t see it myself. You pay a parlor fee, anyway -- that’s money for the right to treat the house as your own for social occasions even if you don’t eat and sleep here. When you add that to dorm rent, you don’t save any money. And, really, you participate in only the most formal activities. My best memories of the past year are of being part of this group of women, memories that I wouldn’t have if I’d just been here for parties and meetings.”When Brittany came through the door, she greeted her.“Long time no see. Thinking of going Zeta?”“Thinking of it. I didn’t know you were here. Is it true about you and Andy?”“Depends what you heard. He’s sort of my boyfriend down here.” She worried about that. Those two had gone. He gave a groan and shoved it in one last, rough time and I felt him spurt and throb and with that feeling came relief.Job done for another night.I relaxed as he slid out of me, crawled into bed under two dirty quilts and as he got in beside me with his back turned I kissed his cheek, moved closer to the warmth of his body, my heart ached to say the words but they were stuck in my throat - they always stuck because I was so used to having them rejected. I love you. Three words so much easier to say than all his filth. But so impossible to say to him.He closed his eyes and was snoring in minutes.I watched him sleep. Yes, I still loved him. But in the way that I knew it was back then, in it's place. My priorities had changed the night he attacked me.Ten seconds.That's what he gave me to get down the stairs and out the door or he would kill me. That was his offer. I'd caled the police when we struggled. He had tossed the phone out of the window and locked it. But they had turned up,.
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