Indian
In turn they all checked his hand and dropped theirs down on the cloth in front of the dealer. Jonn gathered his chips and counted his winnings. The other men leant back in their chairs as Jonn rose from his and walked across the room to where Judy was standing. She straightened her back and stared directly in front of her so as not to catch his eye. As he undid the thin chord tie that held her gown closed and looked down at her full but modest breasts an invisible wisp of perfume from the talc she dusted herself with after her bath, floated past Jonn’s nostrils. The other men watched as Jonn lifted her right tit in the palm of his left hand and slapped it hard and fast with his right hand from the side. Judy’s pretty face crumpled with the sudden pain of the blow. Her eyes welled with silent tears and she drew her breath in between gritted teeth. A focused red hand print instantly appeared on her soft fleshy tit as it wobbled with the impact. Her nipple rose and became bullet like. That suits me just fine. The last thing I want now is company. Even the presence of strangers is more than bothersome. I glance to either side with bowed head. I see pedestrians everywhere – children walking to school, housewives with strollers or puppies on leashes. Businesspeople hurry to their first appointments of the day. Each carries a sense of their own self-importance in conspicuous briefcases or laptops clasped tightly in clenched fists. Don’t dare disturb me. I feel my utter despondency radiate out towards them, driving them away. Good. I don’t want to see anybody smiling. I don’t want to hear them laughing. Or even see them going about their daily routines. Because, whatever their personal difficulties, I envy them. Do you know how lucky you are, just to have normalcy in your lives? I’d give anything to have that again. But you can’t help me. It’s been three days, do you hear? Three days and two very long fucking nights since the funeral. And I haven’t stopped crying..
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