‘Why don’t you just disappear for a few hours or all night, like you’ve done so much lately, and I’ll get a few more of my things and be out of your hair.’ And she looks away again and just nods and leaves. Oh, well. I KNEW this wouldn’t last way back when – and yet I did it anyway and even worse I really did start to get emotionally attached to her, after all. Damn it. ******* Rachel – I left ‘our’ apartment for the last time without even saying goodbye to Jim. Strange that I just thought of him as ‘Jim’ right now instead of ‘little Jimmy’ as I had been thinking of him – and calling him to others – for the last year or so… Well, that went well, I kept telling myself. But did it, really? Damn it, he keeps surprising me. Just like always. Just when I think I really know him and I have got him all figured out, he does something strange, if not downright weird. Why did he do this? Why am I even worrying about it? Yes, I was going to basically kick him out tonight, myself – but I was. "To say I was shocked by this series of admissions from Sara would be a gross understatement. How such a beautiful young woman could so dislike her feminine role in life was totally amazing to me. But I knew better than to try to argue with her, to tell her how wrong she was to feel this way for they were, after all, her truly heart-felt feelings. Instead, when the time was right, I simply commiserated with her, trying to do what I could to let her know that while I couldn't understand her feelings exactly, I was sympathetic. After a while, Sara clamed down enough to express her shame at having told me how she suffered from this inexplicable affliction but I told her not to worry, I was more than willing to hear her out and lend a willing shoulder for her to cry on. Long after we would normally have parted from one of our after-work meetings such as this one, we were still heavily involved in conversation as the both of us began to really open up to one another. We finally reached a.
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